“Sometimes it takes a total break to lead to complete healing and restoration.”
― Karen Pennington
I took myself to a different place and discovered all sorts of things.
After two years of no plane travel and many canceled trips and engagements, I boarded a plane for a few days of what I hope is turning into a practice run of sorts.
I am rusty in the preparation and packing routine I once mastered for weekly work travel . I had to find all sorts of documentation — TSA #, passport, and other travel musts that were frozen in time and lost under piles of remote working paraphernalia.
I now have more animals for whom to make arrangements. My senior dog, Buddha Bear, has special needs and requires a nanny, while the French Bulldogs go to the kennel and the cat settles in with my neighbor. I almost gave up the effort to leave the cottage because of all the change I needed to initiate. I am frozen in time too. As are the animals.
The CDC warned me that I was going to one of the currently-most-dangerous-places in the world. So I wondered if all my experience and provisions would keep me safe. My carry-on bag just got heavier with extra masks, sanitizer, COVID test kits, etc. Am I supposed to venture out of my pandemic cocoon?
What would you do?
I continued my preparations, consulted trusted friends, hugged the dogs tight, and plodded forward.
The COVID weight I have lost makes me want to move and swim in a pool. I even found some warm weather clothes to pack.
I encountered many changes in the airport routine, but I gave myself so much time that I rewarded myself with coffee in the United Presidents Club. Thank heavens that United froze my point status and I still passed as a member.
I met a new friend on each leg of the journey. Both of them will be in my future, for certain. I discovered that in spite of all the changes COVID has generated, I hadn’t lost my interest in people and desire for learning new things.
However, I had lost the ability to disconnect. I worked my lists through two flights enjoying time away from the phone and laptop. I was warmly greeted at the Westin Laguna Mar with a ‘Welcome Home!’.
I loved settling into my room and soaking in the views. Unfortunately, my left-behind schedule of commitments followed me to Cancun. While it felt good to get things done while staring at an azure blue ocean, I did spend all day on my first of three days of relaxation working.
Today, I rose early to clear the email decks so that I could enjoy a full day of doing nothing. But I discovered that I don’t know how to do anything anymore. More practice required!!!!
Has anyone else lost the ability to intentionally check-out versus escape into sleep, movie watching, or worse?
So, phone in hand, while I type sitting on the beach in a lounge chair under a grass umbrella, I am going to close my eyes and just breathe for as long as I can while listening to the waves.
I think I can find this person again. I hope I can find this person again. I want to find this person again who is not attached to her busyness.
I am going to see how long I can lie here. I have a book. I have all day with no real commitments. I know I will benefit from finding my quiet me.
If this is the biggest challenge I have at the moment, I am grateful.
Who have you put away since the pandemic began? Where do you need to go to find this essential part of you that has been forced aside?
I smile as I eavesdrop on the couple to my left, one of whom has just said: ” ‘Life is hard while you are on vacation,’ she said sarcastically.”
To my right, the wife is telling her husband…’I am going to do 10 minutes of yoga, then 15 minutes in the ocean, then into the pool.’ I think she sounds a little like the list-happy conversation in my mind. So. I have just revised my goal. I will stay outside lounging (sort of) by the pool until they start serving lunch outside (90 minutes from now). Small steps toward vacation-competency-reclamation is the plan.
It seems it would all work much better with a travel buddy.
I will return to responsibilities and my work life as I really don’t know how to let go. But for right now I plan to “Be Here Now.”
Leslie
P.S. I do recognize this existential crisis is a first-world issue and not a real crisis at all.
Life is fragile
Time is precious
Find your purpose
Chose who you want to be and spend your time
— Leslie Yerkes
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