The world, nature, human beings, do not move like machines. The edges are never clear-cut, but always frayed. Nature never draws a line without smudging it.
—Winston Churchill
In a conversation this week a colleague so eloquently described all of the confluences that are affecting/influencing/impacting her life since we last spoke a month ago. We both agreed it felt like living a year in just one month. She lives in California and remarked that she is being stretched physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially by all of the experiences. She is making the most of her time and leading effectively through all the serious events. However, she showed a vulnerability and shared that she does experience the Pandemic Blues occasionally. I couldn’t agree more with all that she had to say as that how I am feeling as well.
She went on to share that it was hard to have a clear vision of the future and that though she still makes plans for the long-term, she is living one day at a time. Again, I find myself in the same paradox. Wanting and needing to have a vision of a healthier future and working to put plans into place while quieting the expectations of what will happen. It is the time for just learning to live in the moment and living thoughtfully each day that I have been given.
• Is this whole experience a test of our mindfulness?
• How are you doing with this endurance race that none of us signed up to run?
This colleague so effectively summed up the context of our lives by sharing the observation that people are working more intensely and at the same time there are those not having work and shouldering greater uncertainty. She is experiencing the same pandemic, lives in the community that was at the center of L.A.s protests and riots, and has a growing homeless encampment in her neighborhood. Her sharing of her current situation really humbled me and caused me to feel great gratitude for all that I have in my life.
We are contending with great strife and it is our choice to engage and contribute in a positive way or to cocoon or to rail at the strife. We are discovering the pain of great inequities and long-term hurts that are melded into the complexity. This colleague observed that some people are going nuts and their pent-up feelings are being expressed with aggression and erratic behavior. It is a time to practice safe, healthy habits — mask wearing, hand washing , social distancing — as well as being observant of the emotional climate and unsafe behavior.
Her last piece of wisdom was that the community in which she lives is experiencing deep trauma and is carrying the negativity of these events. This caused me to think of the ritual of smudging used by indigenous tribes to create and cleanse the space.
She, who really understands metaphor, responded to my question: “How are you going to smudge your space and community?” She laughed and said she was smudging already. Each day she goes for a walk (safely) and before she leaves her building she thinks of love, light, and positivity and carries that with her on her walk. She also has adopted the habit on each walk of taking a picture that captures something beautiful and interesting. Both ways of carrying herself attract interest and curiosity and result in positive exchanges. The last thing that she consciously does on this daily connection with nature and her world is to stop in a local business and participate in the economy of her neighborhood. She always carries a smile and a kind word.
You might think that I am going very metaphysical with you – and I am. I believe that molecules carry emotion; and that we can shift negative energy to positive energy with our conscious intentions, actions, and behaviors. In a world where so little is within our control, I know that my attitude and response to anything is the one thing that I can control. So I do this with positive intention.
As our conversation continued with some coaching and shared frameworks, I became aware that we are being prepared and called for something big. That navigating collapsing systems and global threats requires our wisdom in the moment and our leadership in the future.
So I asked her my final question, “What are you feeling called to do?”
This friend answered quickly. “I know I am being called. I feel it too. It is not yet entirely clear but I have some strong feelings about being in the right place, at the right time, with the right skills and experience for what waits for us. It is in these kinds of conversations that we have together that I sort out what I am thinking and feeling.”
I too find my clear path when I am able to talk things out.
Personally, I feel that I am being called to maintain my health during the pandemic so that I can be here through the fraying and into the future where leadership and thoughtfulness will be needed. I would wish the same for you.
• What toll is the pandemic taking on you, your work life, and your relationships?
• Where is the humanness in this challenge? How do we find a path forward that includes dialogue and suspension of bias?
• How are we to respond to this struggle?
• How are you responding?
• How are you managing in this marathon that has turned into something much bigger and longer?
• What has the COVID-19 experience woken up in you?
• What are you being called to?
My best regards and respect,
Leslie
What we all need to do is find the wellspring that keeps us going, that gives us the strength and patience to keep up this struggle for a long time.
— Winona LaDuke